Woody's new greatest adventure.

After yet another depressing year of substitute teaching I longed for summer, little did I know what the end of summer would bring. It's been a challenge, but an exciting one with the promise of a new career in the future.

In August I stumbled upon a new Veterans' benefit that had recently been initiated. The Veterans' Retraining Assistance Program (VRAP), well, I think that's what it is. Anyway, there were two primary requirements to be eligible: 1. Be a Veteran (got it, no problem), 2. Be unemployed ( got this one too).  I kid you a bit, there are some other requirements, but these are the two important ones. The benefit is simple, if approved you get one calendar year of Montgomery GI Bill benefits to enter a training program for a high-demand skill. The other requirement is that it must be in a community college or vo-tech school.  I just looked at the website and there are only about 11,000 slots still available so if this is something you think you may qualify for then get hopping on the application - it is relatively painless so no excuses!

I had to swallow my pride a little and accept that my BA & MA were of little use in the current job market and that my goal of teaching history just wasn't going to happen so I started studying the "in demand" jobs and eliminating the obvious no-goes. Fairly quickly the list was pared down to just a handful of possibilities. I felt that it had to be something in the Information Technology (IT)/computer-related field which in the end left with about half a dozen possibilities.

Finally, after weighing all the options, I talked to one of my wife's colleagues - an IT guru in his own right. When queried about his recommendation for a high-growth, sustainable field, Chris didn't hesitate a moment before he replied "networking." Networking? "Absolutely came his reply - especially "cloud" computing, the newer process of accessing and doing your work on the web itself. Certainly not what I expected to be doing at 53, but a job with fairly guaranteed employment at a pretty decent salary.

 So there you have it. I enrolled in the AAS LAN (Local Area Networking) management program at Kirkwood Community College. I just survived my first semester of classes and I came to the realization that just because it's a community college it won't be a cakewalk! Some of the classes were fairly easy and very basic, yet they required almost constant effort to stay up with the curriculum so my time each day consisted mostly of playing catchup. The core class was a real bear, "Introduction to networking," the entire class revolves around Cisco so the textbooks, lectures and tests were all based on what Cisco wants. All of it a totally new ball game to this history major. So as the instructor said, "What Cisco wants, Cisco gets."

I  discovered something else, computer/techie people really are different. Not necessarily different as in odd although there are a few of those characters too. Different in thought process, conversations and rationale. It took this old liberal arts guy just about the entire semester to figure out the best way to function in the techie world! So much so that I am repeating one of my core classes in the upcoming spring semester. I just couldn't get a solid grasp of networks, subnetting and other processes that are at the center of the networking field. Yeah, a real duh moment I know. I passed the class, but just barely. The instructor suggested that if my schedule allowed it that I should retake the class and that she would be more than willing to provide extra help to get to the level of proficiency that she felt I needed to succeed in the field.

While I have a full schedule for the upcoming semester, I still have Fridays off. I do hope to continue to substitute teach in the area to maintain a little more income to supplement the GI Bill payment. Woody has his work cut out for him that's for sure! My wife is fully supportive of this new venture. Seeing this as  a stepping stone to a little more fiscal security down the road. Me too.

A Penny from Heaven

Where do I start? I haven’t had much of a desire to really write for some time now, but am beginning to feel the urge again so here it goes.

Baby Chinook 1997

Big news? The toughest thing I have ever had to do happened in March when I had to say goodbye to my big black bear Chinook; a Labrador Retriever/Chow Chow mix has been my companion and protector for 15 years so her passing was very hard on me. I think of her often and sometimes forget that she’s not sleeping in the other room. Towards the end that’s pretty much all she did but that was okay, she earned that right. She remained the Alpha Bitch right up until the end, ensuring that the younger animals remembered the pecking order.

Nook and Cheyenne near
Commencement Bay 2000

We were treating ‘Nookie for one type of cancer – a liposarcoma which had become a huge growth hanging from her chest, below her chin and had had great success with arresting its growth and reducing its size by more than half. Wasn’t a terribly pleasant experience for anyone, but she seemed to be recovering quite nicely. So much so that I didn’t even worry that we were going on vacation for a week. Our veterinarian Debbie, an amazing healer, insisted that Chinook stay with her during our absence and it seemed like a pretty good idea so we arranged for her to pick Chinook from our pet sitter the following day.

Chasing tennis ball in the ocean

As Debbie told it, Chinook didn’t do very well at first with the move, but seemed to bounce back and reestablished her place at the top of the social hierarchy of that house. You see, Chinook stayed with her once before after a surgery and made herself at home. We knew there was a connection after Debbie told about how after the previous surgery Chinook climbed three flights of stairs from the basement so that she could sleep next to Debbie’s bed on the second floor the last time she was there. This time Chinook immediately bonded with “Remington” a young Irish wolfhound Debbie had recently rescued. As she told it, they would stay close to each other throughout Nook’s stay.

When we returned, Chinook was back home and despite moving slowly she seemed quite happy about our return. However, all was not well. Almost immediately I noticed Chinook had an increased thirst and a swollen abdomen, this coupled with a general lethargy suggested that she was in trouble and we quickly called Debbie to come check her out. Always a good patient, Chinook allowed the vet to draw a sample of fluid from her belly with barely a flinch. Debbie’s shoulders dropped as she drew off the blood-tinged fluid, simply stated that Chinook had a cancer of the blood and that it was only a matter of time before she would succumb to the disease.

Cheyenne and Chinook running on
Pacific beach 2001

Knowing that little else could be done other than make her comfortable in her remaining hours we drained off as much of the fluid as we could to relieve the swelling. Slowly at first and then like a fast-forwarded film images of my life with Chinook and all the adventures we had flooded my mind as I finally accepted that this was truly the end. Those stories are for another time, this is about her final journey and how I came to find out she was okay.

I slept by her side that final night listening to her tortured breathing. I spoke softly to her and gently stroked her still shiny coat reminding her that I wasn’t leaving again. I like to think my presence gave her comfort during those final hours, leaving her side only for a few minutes at a time I carried her outside for potty breaks and to let her lay in the sun on the grass like she always loved to do during better times.

Chinook instinctively jumped up on the
bed to comfort me as I recovered from
some surgery in 2001.

My mother came to visit later that day because she knew how attached I was to my faithful companion, we shared some tears and chuckles over shared memories as I began squirting drops of water into Chinook’s mouth – eventually, even swallowing that little bit of water became too much for her as she just allowed it to drip from her pale lips as I continued to pet and comfort her.

Joleen called from work throughout the day for updates and to let me know that she and her students were thinking of our Big, Black Bear and me. Finally the day was done and Joleen returned from work to join my vigil. Shortly after Joleen’s arrival, mom excused herself and bid Chinook a teary farewell.

The original plan was for Debbie to come by in the afternoon to start the IV to euthanize Chinook a few hours later. However, upon her arrival, Debbie suggested that Chinook would not last very long and that out of compassion we should proceed without waiting as the end was likely be very painful for Chinook.

With few options left, I agreed with a nod of my head and read one of my favorite passages from the bible: the 2^nd book of Timothy 4: 6-7 

⁶ For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Joleen then played a song from her computer that her choir had been rehearsing about finding a corner in the sky as Debbie injected the milky fluid into Chinook’s vein. Almost immediately her struggle for breath slowed and the raspy gasps slowed as Chinook slipped into a deep sleep her breathing slow and rhythmic. I remember telling her that it was okay and that she could go now as I stroked her velvety ear. Finally, after a second syringe full of medicine the breaths and her strong heart ceased beating – my old, dear friend was gone.

Joleen and I sat with Chinook as Debbie excused herself to go meet with the guy who was going to cremate Chinook. As disturbing as the image of her being consumed by fire was for me I couldn’t think that there was a better way to have Chinook with us until I go along that same path.  When Cheyenne finally goes we will put them into the same container and I plan on having them buried with me.

My sister Carol had offered a shady spot on their acreage to bury ‘Nook, but I hated the thought of her being out there alone. I know, it doesn’t make sense but we declined her generous and compassionate offer.

The hounds next to a river near Spokane

As we sat there petting our now silent protector I could feel her body grow cold as we waited for her final ride. As the tears dried we talked about her life with us – good times and even some of the not so good times I couldn’t help but wonder if she was truly okay, happy and no longer in pain. She endured a lot of pain and stress in her life as she accompanied me across the country to this her final home. She and Cheyenne had been my (almost) constant companions for a very long time. Cheyenne, another rescue from Tacoma had been with us for almost as long and he seemed a little lost without his longtime pal.

All too soon Debbie arrived with the man from the crematory, quietly picked Chinook up in the blanket she had been laying on and started to carry her away as I reached out to stroke the top of her head one last time and she was gone.

One of Joleen's students added a halo to this picture
of Chinook taken a few years ago.

Joleen and just about everyone else reminded me that Chinook had a good life with me and I should be happy about the memories that we shared. “I was a good doggy-daddy,” they reassured me. True enough but even with a houseful of pets as we have, Chinook’s absence seemed to cause the house to echo with emptiness.

The fatigue and stress had finally gotten the best of me and I slept restlessly that night, waking many times before dawn broke on a sad, new day without my guardian.

Life continued as I went about my day. I hadn’t made any coffee that morning so as I drove off to a doctor’s appointment I decided to stop at a local coffee stand at the Mount Vernon Motel.  The owners like me were military veterans and when I did buy coffee I tried to always go to their business to support their efforts.

As I pulled up to the kiosk, I kept mulling over Chinook’s death and it really began to bother me that I didn’t KNOW that she was now pain free and okay. Was there a hear after for people let alone dogs? Was there a "Rainbow Bridge" like the poem where she would wait for me? Or was there nothing but darkness?

The coffee stand’s owner leaned out of the window and interrupted my thoughts saying, “Here, this is yours you must have given it to us by accident last time you were here,” as he handed me a coin. I looked down at the gold disk and there was an angel stamped on it I was almost speechless as I started to tell him that no it wasn’t mine but he had already turned away to fill my coffee mug.

My very special "Penny from Heaven."

I turned the coin over in my hand as a warm feeling came over me.  Chinook had sent me a sign that she was safe, happy and was now looking over me as my guardian angel. That revelation eased the ache in my heart as I pocketed my “penny from heaven.”

Special Forces Mistress

I wish I could take credit for this quote, but that honor goes to one of our Special Forces forefathers. There have been many times I couldn't put my feelings about SF into words but this sums it up perfectly. Special Forces, some days I really miss that bitch!

De Oppresso Liber

Special Forces Mistress

"Men, Special Forces is a mistress. Your wives will envy her, because she will have your hearts. Your wives will be jealous of her because of her power to pull you away.

This mistress will show you things never before seen and you will experience things that you have never before felt. She will love you, but only a little, seduce you to want more, to give more, and to die for her.

She will take away from the ones you love, and you will hate her for it, but leave her you never will, but if you must, you will miss her, for she is a part of you that will never be returned intact.

And in the end she will leave you for a younger man.

James R. Ward OSS

Want to diet? There's an app for that.

Woody has been dieting lately. A better name might be behavior modification. It has taken me 51 years to get in this sorry shape but I hope to be back down to a much more comfortable (and healthy) weight by summer's end. I haven't really "worked out" yet, focusing on diet and walking the younger dogs for a pretty respectable weight loss.

I've been calorie counting since the 29th of January after I downloaded an application for my Ipod called: "Loseit". Since I am rarely without my Ipod or Iphone it is an ideal way for me to keep track of my food consumption digitally. Since my account is synced between Iphone-Ipod-computer I am better able to keep track of my eating habits throughout the day/week/month.

Okay, so it's pretty simple, after you download the app, you enter your personal data, choose a goal weight and that's about it. Unlike all those "miracle" diets you are bombarded with on TV, this program has a very modest and more importantly realistic weekly goal of losing between 1/2 and 2 pounds a week. I opted to lose 2 pounds per week so my daily caloric intake was adjusted accordingly. Week one went well, I kept track of calories and made decisions to eat more healthy. Those decisions have been getting progressively easier because I've been seeing progress.

You also enter in your physical activity that acts like a deposit on your account. More exercise = more calories..... The info you input is readily available to see how you are "spending" your calories so you can budget accordingly. With no effort I am fairly close to maintaining the desired 60-20-20 ratio of carbs/protein/fat in my diet. Even the days that you indulge too much can be compensated for by consciously reducing your intake the remainder of the week so if you come in under your weekly allotment of calories you are still burning calories over the long run, especially if you increase your aerobic workouts.

For right now, my aerobic efforts have been fairly tame: walking mostly. Nevertheless, it is a great way to knock those calories out. To do this I use another app I've found to be beneficial is "runkeeper". This application uses GPS technology that turns your Iphone into a pedometer/speedometer/coach to record your physical efforts about your aerobic endeavors outside. This program also gives you frequent voice updates about how far you've gone and how fast.

Six weeks later, my clothes are fitting loser, my rings are spinning on my fingers instead of cutting off circulation and my knees don't hurt as much! I can even wear some of the clothes that have been hanging in the closet because they had become too snug to wear!

As I told Joleen I have good news and I have bad news, I'm losing weight but now I'm gonna need new clothes! But she's okay with that. I waited a week before I shared this application with her, mainly to see if I could stick with it and if it seemed worthwhile. As a fellow gadgeteer, Joleen is now counting calories with me and has already lost nine pounds! I am very proud of her efforts and take great care in food preparation each day.

Meal preparation consists of evaluating caloric value and measuring portion size. As a pseudo-gormand, I do like to cook and until recently I didn't worry about calories, just taste and feeling full. I now carefully read labels, evaluate nutritional values, weigh and measure portions to ensure coming in under my calorie allotment each day. With this improvement in our diets we are both eating more fruits and vegetables and reducing our snacking to a more realistic level. Truth be told we both got lazy about staying healthy. I use my food scales and measuring cups religiously these days to ensure we are not cheating ourselves. I have even purchased a cheap food scale to take with us on vacation next week!

I believe improving our health and quality of life is the key, I was never a PT stud, so I don't hold any illusions like getting washboard abs. At 51? I'll be happy with getting rid of my dun-lap and love handles! I plan to start running after we return from Arizona. I'm purposely waiting to run until my weight gets down a bit further. For now I'll be happy with just walking. In fact we are even planning at least one hike while in AZ!

Will this be a permanent lifestyle change? I hope so. It really hasn't been that hard to do. I'm relearning what it's like to leave the table not quite full and that it's okay to be hungry. Another thing I've discovered is just how much I used to eat during the day out of sheer boredom! If my knees hold up with running, I have a goal of finishing a 5K run (or two) this summer. Next year? Maybe farther.

So there you have it. No special food, pills, shakes, or programs, just a guy and his Ipod. As my buddy Mike Jaquard says, "Life is like a sandwich, eat it up!" But Woody says, "make sure you write down the calories!" Oh yeah, I have lost 27 pounds so far.

Special Forces

This is a video I put together for a presentation I'm giving for the local Lions Club. Kinda hard to compress 20+ years in a 3 minute video but I tried! I hope you like it.

Forever Soldiers

Some of you old timers might remember the days when Army and Soldiers magazine used to have pinup cheesecake photos on the back cover. They also published poetry (I assume) written by service members. I made a point of keeping some of the clippings. As I was sorting boxes yesterday I found this gem and wanted to share it with everyone. I wish I could take credit for it but it is someone else's work. So whoever and wherever you are T.J.B, thanks for the thought.

Soldiers should not be too much farewelled.
The world is far too small
and service much to wide
For any fighting man to ever hide
For long from those with whom he's dwelled.

We know on parting we'll again be meeting.
Perhaps in some good club
(martinis made with care),
Or in some riddled shelter we may share,
Where bursting rounds will underscore our greeting.

Departure should not overly be grieved
Among our kind.
We'll meet again, unless
One of us makes that final PCS.
And even the, I've always half believed.

That somewhere up beyond the pearly gates
On the compound of the great commander, waits
A quiet bar - celestial brew on draught -
Where souls of soldiers gather now and then to laugh
At the frustrations of the devil's staff,
And send their best to soldiers still below,
And wait in comfort for old friends to show.

T.J.B

An insult?

Not long ago I was called a "book worm" by a drunken, loud sports fan at an Iowa Hawkeye basketball game. In fact my wife and I were hassled pretty much throughout the game by "accidental" bumps, too-loud comments and generally sophomoric behavior that would be better suited to the student section of the arena. These assholes were so obnoxious an elderly couple who became the target of their bile early in the game got up and left. Their offense? Being fans of the opposing team.

The volume and profanity of the ongoing tirades was so loud that people three and four rows down were turning around to see what the commotion was all about. Quite a few people sitting around this crew of meatheads asked/told them to clean up their language and to act like "True Hawkeye fans" but those comments only redirected the drunks' stupidity onto them.

Finally after an "accidental" bump on Joleen, I turned around and told them to knock it off. Of course this led to them turning their ire directly on us. Then one of the louder ones started to berate me for reading a book during timeouts and for dozing off at previous games. This when he called me a bookworm. Wow, these bozos have been watching me this long? They certainly aren't that much interested in the game if they take note of us!

Something else that was laughable was how they justified their rudeness. They loudly declared that because they paid for their tickets that entitled them to be as loud and obnoxious as they wanted to be. Of course, that everyone else sitting around them just wanted to watch the game but that didn't count.

As the asshole continued his diatribe, I asked him if he had purchased my ticket and just why in the hell it bothered him so much. His unintelligible reply was laced with a few profanities and hardly worth writing about however, a drunk is just a drunk but an angry drunk is a threat so I put my book away (a excellent biography of T. E. Lawrence BTW), pulled my spyderco from its hiding place so I could slice and dice them if need be.

I must point out that during this whole time not one single permar security puke, U of I rent-a-cop or police officer was to be found. I know they were there, because they are thick as thieves on the upper level and lower level of the arena but are rarely if ever seen patrolling the aisles. I must also point out that during this whole mess my wife was trying to text the emergency number for security so she could report the escalating situation. Over a month later we are still waiting on a response to her text.

Later, as the game drew to an end with the Hawks losing to the hated Iowa State Cyclones the drunks vented their spleens at the players to "Man up" and then started back up with the crowd because according to these boozer-losers the rest of us weren't cheering loud enough for a Hawks' victory. Most people in our section just tried to ignore them.

Ascending the stairs with a couple minutes left in the game I was struck by the sheer number of "security" people hanging around up on the main level; some texting, some eating, chit-chatting with each other but an inordinate number of them leaning over the railing with their attention focused solely on the game! And many of these gawkers were armed police officers! Their service weapons and tasers within easy reach of anyone who was feeling froggy. I guess watching the game and hassling people by searching their belongings is way more important than doing their job of providing any type of security.

I bring this event up only because we were back at the arena last night for another dismal showing of the Hawkeyes. Anyway, partway through the game, three or four young men came over to speak to the people sitting directly in front of us. They were courteous and non-obtrusive as they kneeled in the aisle talking but trying to keep out everyone's way. They hadn't been there 2 minutes when out of nowhere a permar SUPERVISOR swooped down on them with the admonition to "clear the aisle or ELSE!"

Well, I guess I've vented my spleen about enough for tonight. Life ain't fair, but it's the only one we have. Next time maybe I'll stick one of them and see if they change their tune

Woody out.