"...Went to Grenada". Part 1, The Terrain Model,

Through the wonders of the internet and thanks to Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with  a great many people seemingly lost forever from early in my military career      It is not only gratifying to rediscover old friends but also humbling to realize that they hadn't forgotten me either. 

My comrades from my (second) time in the 82d Airborne Division are especially precious to me in that I left "The Deuce" under less than auspicious circumstances. You see, I was kicked out of the war after my short foray on the island of Grenada. 

Since many of my old friends were younger enlisted soldiers at the time, they didn't necessarily know what precipitated my speedy departure from Task Force 2/505. I must say that the rumors are far more interesting than what really happened! Nevertheless, I had been mulling the idea to write down my exploits while assigned to Cold Steel Bravo, encouraged by some of those paratroopers I left so long ago. 

With this narrative I will tell once and for all the real story of my exodus to the promised land of Special Forces.

Author's note: Names, dates and places are as accurate as my 54 year old brain can remember. If I am incorrect in my facts, please let me know so I can correct them. Here we go sports fans...

Let me tell you of the days of high adventure...

 Once when I was a squad leader we had had a battalion ARTEP (Army Readiness Testing Program), which required us to enter the D-LAAC (sorry, I don't remember what it stands for). A group of WWII era barracks large enough to house 1,000+ soldiers, it was surrounded by chain link fence topped with razor wire. A secure area, units would enter to focus on mission planning. I would stay in these barracks once more  before I left Division - prior to deploying to Grenada. In later years I would refer to this sort of planning as isolation, when a unit would enter a secure area and focus on little more than the mission and their preparation. 

Each of the squads was given a FRAGO (Fragmentary Order) followed later by an OPORD (Operations Order) and one of the tasks required was to construct a to-scale representation of the route of advance and actions on the objective.

Also known as a terrain model, the more accurately it represents the Area of Operation and Responsibility (AOR) the better for mission planning – and it looks good to the evaluator grading to your operations order. I had prepared for this inevitability by assembling a terrain model kit that had all the stuff to make the terrain model look better: Colored chalk to grind up into a powder to define map features, colored string to identify routes of advance and invariably as most former squad leaders know, the packets of creamer from C-rations or MREs. I set my guys to work on the model and went about my other tasks for mission planning.

Some time later the guys had completed the model and to say it looked great really is an understatement.  It was AWESOME! We got the call for lunch and lined up to move to the mess hall. I decided that since we were in a secure area with roving guards that the whole squad would go to chow, eat and then get ready for our operations order – big mistake on my part. We came back about 20 minutes later and the terrain model that my guys had worked so hard on to get darn near perfect was no more than a swirl of dirt, brightly colored yarn, ground chalk, mixed with coffee creamer and other tricks of the trade. I was dumbfounded. The index cards that acted as a legend to our map were crumpled and shredded among the aftermath of an unknown jungle-booted maelstrom. 

Fuming and about ready to explode, I instructed the guys to put the terrain model back together as best they could and then I started to go to the platoon sergeant to let him know that my squad’s operations order had been sabotaged and that we would need a little more time to get ready to present our plan. More than anything else I was angry at myself for trusting in the belief that no one would mess with our model. The thought that my guys' efforts had been wasted also weighed heavily on my mind - I should have known better.

On the way, Corporal Fitzgerald, motioned me over, leaned in and advised me that he had been the one to eradicate my squad’s efforts.Also known as “Beaker,” due to his uncanny resemblance to a Muppet of that name, he pointed skyward and simply said, “Satellites Sergeant Woods.” I should get credit here for the fact that I didn’t beat him within an inch of his life. I restrained myself and continued on preparing for a briefing with a terrain model that sucked the big one, but lesson learned. This event would remain burned into my brain and I would exact my vengeance from Beaker in the future.

Ultimately we conducted our ARTEP and returned to garrison to clean up and ready for the next call out.

Special Forces Random Thoughts

• Yeah, we know John Wayne was "just" an actor but he's still our hero. 
• The whole Rambo thing was embarrassing. 
• We love and respect Colonel Maggie and we'll kick your ass if you disrespect her. 
• We know where Pineland is. 
• We always knew that if the Charlie couldn’t get it, we really didn't need it. 
• Regardless of what we do now we really miss blowing stuff up. 
• You dreamed it, we lived it.
• We know who "Bronze Bruce" and "Iron Mike" are. 
• Okay, okay, maybe the whole tribal band tattoo thing was a little overdone. 
• 200 lbs. of high-speed, lightweight gear still weighs 200 lbs.
• Sometimes it is tough to choose between the Ray Bans and the Oakleys. 
•  Yeah, we get misty eyed when the national anthem is played.  Don't you? 
• Don't be the guy that dishonors the Flag in front of us - don't. 
• We know that with a good base of fire we can conquer the world
• Like a sailor loves his ship, we love the Team
• We called them LBGs and sometimes we didn't like them very much but we always respected them. 
• Although we joke about it at times, we all stand a little taller when we hear, "The Ballad of the Green Berets" played. 
• Oh yeah, and we have multiple renditions of  "The Ballad of the Green Berets" too. 
• If the company sergeant major has your back you are golden. 

Woody's new greatest adventure.

After yet another depressing year of substitute teaching I longed for summer, little did I know what the end of summer would bring. It's been a challenge, but an exciting one with the promise of a new career in the future.

In August I stumbled upon a new Veterans' benefit that had recently been initiated. The Veterans' Retraining Assistance Program (VRAP), well, I think that's what it is. Anyway, there were two primary requirements to be eligible: 1. Be a Veteran (got it, no problem), 2. Be unemployed ( got this one too).  I kid you a bit, there are some other requirements, but these are the two important ones. The benefit is simple, if approved you get one calendar year of Montgomery GI Bill benefits to enter a training program for a high-demand skill. The other requirement is that it must be in a community college or vo-tech school.  I just looked at the website and there are only about 11,000 slots still available so if this is something you think you may qualify for then get hopping on the application - it is relatively painless so no excuses!

I had to swallow my pride a little and accept that my BA & MA were of little use in the current job market and that my goal of teaching history just wasn't going to happen so I started studying the "in demand" jobs and eliminating the obvious no-goes. Fairly quickly the list was pared down to just a handful of possibilities. I felt that it had to be something in the Information Technology (IT)/computer-related field which in the end left with about half a dozen possibilities.

Finally, after weighing all the options, I talked to one of my wife's colleagues - an IT guru in his own right. When queried about his recommendation for a high-growth, sustainable field, Chris didn't hesitate a moment before he replied "networking." Networking? "Absolutely came his reply - especially "cloud" computing, the newer process of accessing and doing your work on the web itself. Certainly not what I expected to be doing at 53, but a job with fairly guaranteed employment at a pretty decent salary.

 So there you have it. I enrolled in the AAS LAN (Local Area Networking) management program at Kirkwood Community College. I just survived my first semester of classes and I came to the realization that just because it's a community college it won't be a cakewalk! Some of the classes were fairly easy and very basic, yet they required almost constant effort to stay up with the curriculum so my time each day consisted mostly of playing catchup. The core class was a real bear, "Introduction to networking," the entire class revolves around Cisco so the textbooks, lectures and tests were all based on what Cisco wants. All of it a totally new ball game to this history major. So as the instructor said, "What Cisco wants, Cisco gets."

I  discovered something else, computer/techie people really are different. Not necessarily different as in odd although there are a few of those characters too. Different in thought process, conversations and rationale. It took this old liberal arts guy just about the entire semester to figure out the best way to function in the techie world! So much so that I am repeating one of my core classes in the upcoming spring semester. I just couldn't get a solid grasp of networks, subnetting and other processes that are at the center of the networking field. Yeah, a real duh moment I know. I passed the class, but just barely. The instructor suggested that if my schedule allowed it that I should retake the class and that she would be more than willing to provide extra help to get to the level of proficiency that she felt I needed to succeed in the field.

While I have a full schedule for the upcoming semester, I still have Fridays off. I do hope to continue to substitute teach in the area to maintain a little more income to supplement the GI Bill payment. Woody has his work cut out for him that's for sure! My wife is fully supportive of this new venture. Seeing this as  a stepping stone to a little more fiscal security down the road. Me too.